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MoonChildK



Joined: 11 Apr 2000
Posts: 139
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:24 pm    Post subject: ADVICE Reply with quote

Hello,

I haven't been on this board in awhile, and this might sound strange but sometimes the objective advice of strangers can be helpful...so here goes:

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. We have a 5 year old daughter and we've been living together for the past 2 years. About a year ago I decided to go back to college to finish my bachelors degree. Recently my boyfriend became very chummy with a girl from work, I was very suspicious especially b/c when I asked to meet her he said no. Secondly, he has been chating on the phone with someone he met online. They talk on the phone in the wee hours of the morning when he thinks I'm asleep. One night they were on the phone from 2-5am. I guess it seems apparent what's going on but I'm still unsure. He's usually with our daughter (which is always is comeback whenever we discuss his new friend) and I can usually get in touch with him very easily. But it really irks me that he has these intimate conversaions with these women and has them so late at night. I've talked to friends, family and co-workers and everyone's opinion is different. I feel like I'll know the right advice when I hear it. So if anyone has any insight please respond. Thanks
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keiragarner



Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:39 pm    Post subject: advice Reply with quote

hi, i am using my sisters account, i am actually a guy- ok form one guys opinion.... i think you already know what i am going to say... it sounds like he likes these other women, but wants to keep you close, he doesn't want to loose you, but likes other women. if he doesn't want you to meet her, he is trying to keep her away from you because they flirt at work. he cant be with both of you two. cheating all starts with one idea in his head, then he intertains it in his imagination, while you and him are intimate, then it sprouts to an accasional flirting, it gets bigger, with long conversations, then you know what happens next.... all i can say is, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life! but of all this you have to make the decision yourself, you choose what you have to go through.... only you can decide. I am sorry if this i snot the advice your looking for but i feel it is the truth with all that is in me. - James
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MoonChildK



Joined: 11 Apr 2000
Posts: 139
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:49 pm    Post subject: ADVICE Reply with quote

James,

Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate your honesty.
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Harajuku_Girl



Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Posts: 4
Location: Thailand

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry if my advice is crap but i'll try.
Maybe you can talk to him when your child is asleep or gone to school or a friend or something. And then tell him how you feel and what bothers you. I think if he has nothing to hide and it is just a friendship he would react calm and explain to you what's going on.
But i think if he gets all defensive and angry he does it for a reason.
And maybe you can think about where you think he will cross the line. If it is when he has intimate conversations or a kiss or more. And then tell him how much u can put up with.
And maybe you can try to figure out how much you love him and if there is still trust in the relationship and if it actually has a future.
Well thats just what i think of it i'm really sorry if it didnt help but i thought i should give it a try.
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TGB



Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 29
Location: WPG MB

PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:10 pm    Post subject: How to deal with death Reply with quote

Hi I'm Terry. I just joined. I have visted the site many times before I joined. I think I never joined because I had my mother Carol. On Nov 1 05 she suffered a massive heart attack. On the 2 we disconnected life support. I'm fine I haven't even cried cause I'm still in shock. That's what everyone says to me. Me and my mom had a special bond. She was my caregiver. I have been struggling with mental health issues for 17 years. I've been in remission for 5 years. I have a good support system with the mental health community. I get rest, eat and take my pills faithfully. Is there anything I should be aware of about grieving so I don't fall out of remission. And what preventitive measures should I take. Any advice would be helpful. Terry B WPG MB Canada
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*~Concrete_Rose~*



Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 633
Location: Carolina, Puerto Rico

PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well have you approached him about it?
That's the first thing i would do... tell him how you feel and that whut he's doing is making you uncomfortable and unsure of your relationship...
if he denies anything (and you STILL think he's creepin) time to play nancy drew... i would listen in on sum of his conversations or be in the room with him while he's talking on the phone with some of his "friends"... if he's sneaking off to another room...my guess is..sumthin's up... but first and foremost sit down with him talk about the situation b4 anything... ya'll have child together so remember your child comes first.... um well that's my piece but if any1 wants to add anything... GOOD LUCK Wink

*~Ashley~*
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*~Concrete_Rose~*



Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 633
Location: Carolina, Puerto Rico

PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:57 pm    Post subject: Re: How to deal with death Reply with quote

TGB wrote:
Hi I'm Terry. I just joined. I have visted the site many times before I joined. I think I never joined because I had my mother Carol. On Nov 1 05 she suffered a massive heart attack. On the 2 we disconnected life support. I'm fine I haven't even cried cause I'm still in shock. That's what everyone says to me. Me and my mom had a special bond. She was my caregiver. I have been struggling with mental health issues for 17 years. I've been in remission for 5 years. I have a good support system with the mental health community. I get rest, eat and take my pills faithfully. Is there anything I should be aware of about grieving so I don't fall out of remission. And what preventitive measures should I take. Any advice would be helpful. Terry B WPG MB Canada


Well... i'm the type of person who holds emotions in.. but instead of exploding or going crazy with bottled up emotions i find sumthin...like an outlet... i like poetry (i like to write) it lets me vent and express whutever i'm feeling... i find it theraputic.. so that's my advice find sumthin that will occupy ur time and become ur therapy.. sum people write, paint, jog, whutever...GOOD LUCK Wink

*~Ashley~*
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*~Concrete_Rose~*



Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 633
Location: Carolina, Puerto Rico

PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:00 pm    Post subject: Re: ADVICE Reply with quote

MoonChildK wrote:
Hello,

I haven't been on this board in awhile, and this might sound strange but sometimes the objective advice of strangers can be helpful...so here goes:

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. We have a 5 year old daughter and we've been living together for the past 2 years. About a year ago I decided to go back to college to finish my bachelors degree. Recently my boyfriend became very chummy with a girl from work, I was very suspicious especially b/c when I asked to meet her he said no. Secondly, he has been chating on the phone with someone he met online. They talk on the phone in the wee hours of the morning when he thinks I'm asleep. One night they were on the phone from 2-5am. I guess it seems apparent what's going on but I'm still unsure. He's usually with our daughter (which is always is comeback whenever we discuss his new friend) and I can usually get in touch with him very easily. But it really irks me that he has these intimate conversaions with these women and has them so late at night. I've talked to friends, family and co-workers and everyone's opinion is different. I feel like I'll know the right advice when I hear it. So if anyone has any insight please respond. Thanks



oops sorry i was going to say it in my other post... but it sounds like he's cheating on you "emotionally"...(i.e BRAD PITT AND JENNIFER ANISTON)

*~Ashley~*
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TGB



Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 29
Location: WPG MB

PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:37 am    Post subject: I Will Survive Reply with quote

I don't know much about how writing in the forum works. Please forgive me. I'll get the hang of it soon. Ashley if that advice was for me Terry B of WPG MB thank you. I do write as a hobby. I don't have any real talent to make a living at it. I like writing movies. I was writing one when my mom died. I will finish the story in my mom's memory. The story is based of the 70's song "I Will Survive". How fitting.

Terry B
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*~Concrete_Rose~*



Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 633
Location: Carolina, Puerto Rico

PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 3:48 pm    Post subject: Re: I Will Survive Reply with quote

TGB wrote:
I don't know much about how writing in the forum works. Please forgive me. I'll get the hang of it soon. Ashley if that advice was for me Terry B of WPG MB thank you. I do write as a hobby. I don't have any real talent to make a living at it. I like writing movies. I was writing one when my mom died. I will finish the story in my mom's memory. The story is based of the 70's song "I Will Survive". How fitting.

Terry B


Well Terry that sounds cool... Wink i'm always trying to write a movie lol i have so many ideas....and i started writing them...but i just don't know how to put them into a "script" format... so i end up getting frustrated...and give up... you dont know how many unfinished scripts i have saved on my computer it's sad!!! lol

*~Ashley~*
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TGB



Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 29
Location: WPG MB

PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:24 pm    Post subject: Hello Ashley Reply with quote

Nov 13 2002

Dear Ashley,

Thanks for talking to me. I really appreciate it. Mom and I used to talk alot. I miss that. But all that has changed. Tonight me and brother Kelly went out for ribs with an old family friend Vivian. The family and friends have been keeping a close eye on me. I tell them I'm fine. I'm getting ready to move into a place of my own for Dec. 1. An organization called Sara Riel Inc. is helping. I've never been on my own. It's kind of scary and exciting at the same time. I'll keep you informed.

About the writing. I found it helpful reading a book about screenplays. Or off the internet. First learn about POV Montage flashbacks dreams OS VO INT and EXT. Study about introducing your main character in the first 10 pages and the goal. Decide about your first plot twist and the conflict leading up to your second plot twist which should conclude your story. Write single scenes with sequence scenes. THEN go watch a movie similar to your story. Importantly keep it simple. We're not here to save the world. We help people escape for 2 hours.

Terry
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*~Concrete_Rose~*



Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 633
Location: Carolina, Puerto Rico

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

aww no prob...thanx for the advice... Wink

*~Ashley~*
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TGB



Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 29
Location: WPG MB

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nov 14 2005

Dear Ashley,

Hi its Terry. I got a call from my worker and I meet with her Thursday at 11 am to talk about apartments. She already found a few. I cleaned out mom's room yesterday with my brother Kelly. He leaves back to Vancouver BC Canada tomorrow at 930 am our time. I cleaned out my room today. Assistance told my worker I could have stayed another month but my worked told them its best I leave. Alot of people have offered to move me and clean up the apartment.

How do you use the Emoticons.

I think I will write tonight. I am half done the 1st draft.

Terry
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*~Concrete_Rose~*



Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 633
Location: Carolina, Puerto Rico

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TGB wrote:
Nov 14 2005

Dear Ashley,

Hi its Terry. I got a call from my worker and I meet with her Thursday at 11 am to talk about apartments. She already found a few. I cleaned out mom's room yesterday with my brother Kelly. He leaves back to Vancouver BC Canada tomorrow at 930 am our time. I cleaned out my room today. Assistance told my worker I could have stayed another month but my worked told them its best I leave. Alot of people have offered to move me and clean up the apartment.

How do you use the Emoticons.

I think I will write tonight. I am half done the 1st draft.

Terry



Well Terry that's good.. i dont know how i would cope with having to clean out my mom's room...knowing that she's passed on...your strong girl!!! as for the emoticons you have to go to ur profile and there's a like checklist there down towards the bottom...click yes for enable smilies.... then click submit at the bottom...that should work...

*~Ashley~*
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TGB



Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 29
Location: WPG MB

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Ashley,

I am a boy not a girl. I thought having Y at the end of Terry would give it away. You think its wierd a boy being a Mark Wahlberg fan. Its ok. If you don't want to be cyber friends anymore I understand. I won't bother you anymore. I had a feeling it was a mistake joining up to try to make friends with my condition and circumstance. I'm sorry

Sincerely Terry
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