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CELEBRITY Therapy Session

 
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ButtercuplovesMark



Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2092
Location: Wahlberg Island

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:58 pm    Post subject: CELEBRITY Therapy Session Reply with quote

We open on a clinic, in front; we zoom in on a sign that reads, "Closed today for private group session." Inside the clinic, in the main room, we see the Celebrity seated in a large circle with the clinic director (a somewhat spacey woman) seated between Joey and Jordan.


Clinic Director: I'd like to welcome you all here today; hopefully we will be able to discuss any issues you may have with one another.


We pan around the circle to see Joey casting an angsty glance at Jonathan, Jordan nervously glaring at his father Allan, Robert hissing at Tyrese who looks very annoyed, Mark primping himself in a mirror, Donnie tapping his foot nervously and looking testy, Garrett clinging to a bottle of bleach and looking at Danny, Matt and Leonardo who are quietly minding there own business, and Angie who is ready to throw a chair at Buttercup. Also seated are Orlando, Keanu, Hugo, and George Clooney.


Clinic Director: So, who would like to start? Orlando? [She looks at Orlando who squints and just stares back as if he is in deep concentration] Ok then, Donnie?


Donnie: I cannot, no [stands up and raises his voice] I will not be responsible for that kind of power! [Sits down and lowers his voice, realizing his embarrassment] I'm sorry, but no, I do not want to go first.


Clinic Director: Ok...[she turns to Jordan] Jordan?


Jordan: If father bids me to go first, I will.


Allan: I'd rather listen to Jonathan...


Jordan: [yells] Well too bad! [Settles down and lowers voice] Hi, my name is Jordan and I am severely lacking a role model and the attention I deserve from my father.


All: Hi, Jordan.


Clinic Director: Hello Jordan, would you like to share your problem with us?


Jordan: It's all because of him! [points to Allan seated across the room] He loves Jonathan more then he loves me and it's unfair...


Allan: [rolls his eyes] Let your brother speak, we don't care about your petty problem.


Jordan: [all worked up] See! See! This is what I'm talking about.


Clinic Director: Ok, ok, calm down. Jordan, anything to add? Any comments?


Jonathan: [glaring at Joey, his eyes fixed on the One Ring hanging from the chain around his neck. He stands up to speak with his eyes on the Ring the entire time.] Hello, I am Jonathan.


All: [cutting him off] Hi Jonathan.


Jonathan: I am a weak man, you see... I have a greed problem. [He takes a few steps towards Joey who shudders, which diverts Jonathan's attention away from the Ring.]


Allan: This is my fault, I sent Jonathan to retrieve the Ring for Gondor...


Jordan: I told you should have sent me!!


Allan: Did I hear something?


Jordan: [starts to cry and storms out the room]


Angie: Come back my love! [Stands to run after him]


Buttercup: [in an obnoxious tone] You can't have both of them, you know.


Donnie: Everyone is pulling me all directions around here...you'd think I was king or something...


[Danny, Buttercup, and Hugo groan and roll their eyes]


Donnie: Well I'm not! I am not King and I will never be King!


Clinic Director: Would you like to introduce yourself?


Donnie: Hello, I am Donnie son of Donnie Sr. and I have commitment issues.


All: Hi Donnie.


Jonathan: Why does he always have to add in the, 'Son of Donnie Sr. part?' Geez, you'd think his ancestors were famous or something.


[Once again, Danny, Buttercup, and Hugo groan and roll their eyes]


George Clooney: Well as far as I'm concerned, 'Mr. Knight' here can have the whiny elf-princess. It leaves my fair Angie free for me. [Waives to Angie]


[Donnie (who is seated next to Mark) and Mark wince in disgust]


Buttercup: Who are you calling whiny, snake-face?


Angie: Go ahead Donnie, tell her you want me instead!


Donnie: I...I...TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!


Danny: Settle down now, [turns and stares at Donnie] we're using our indoor voices.


Garrett: Oh, shut up! What do you know? Just because you're Danny the White now, doesn't mean you know everything!


Clinic Director: I'm sensing some jealousy...


Garrett: Me? Jealous...of him? I don't think so...


Danny: Yeah, you're not jealous...that's why you stranded me on top of Orthanc, right?


Joey: So that's where you were all that time!


Tyrese: [Grabs Joey's hand] Everything is ok now Mr. Joey, I'm here to take care of you.


Robert: Stupid fat hobbit! [Tyrese glares at Robert] Master has ussss now. Master doesn't need you anymore.


Bobbo: Yes precioussss, Master takes cares of us now.


[Tyrese curtly throws Joey's hand out of his]


Keanu: So it has all been in vain!


Mark: What, couldn't think of anything original so you took a line right from the script? [He tilts his head up and away from Kenau symbolizing his superiority]


Clinic Director: And who are you?


Mark: I am Mark, captain of the guards of Lothlorien and I am better than anyone else in the world.


Buttercup: Speak for yourself...daddy, tell him how I'm the best in the world!


Hugo: Daughter, there are just some things in this world I just can't do. I'm sorry. Oh, by the way, I can't let you stay here, you're taking the ship to Valinor. I will not allow you to waste your time waiting for him [points to Donnie] to become king.


Amber: YES!!


Donnie: I'm not going to become king!!


[Again, Danny Buttercup, and Hugo groan and roll their eyes]


Leonardo: [cluelessly chiming in] So when do we get to eat? I'm ready for Elevensies.


Matt: Yeah, anyone have some ale? Maybe some Longbottom Leaf for after we eat?


Clinic Director: I'm sorry, there's no smoking in the building, you'll have to go outside.


Orlando: Good, I don't want to inhale black smoke so my perfectly clean lungs will turn black, yuck!


[Everyone in the room turns and stares at Orlando]


Orlando: What? Do I have a hair out of place?


[Suddenly Jonathan jumps up and makes a grab for the Ring around Joey's neck but Danny hits him in the head with his staff before the Ring can be taken. Jonathan is now unconscious on the floor.]


Allan: What have you done to my one and only son!?


Jordan: [His wavering voices echoes from outside the room in the hallway] He's not your only son!!


Allan: I must get him to the Houses of Healing, quickly! [Gets up and starts dragging Jonathan by the ankles]


Donnie: Athelas! Athelas always does the trick!


[Allanr exits with Jonathan. The doors shut and outside we hear voices.]


Allan: Hey, you there, will you help me carry my son?


Jordan: You don't even know my name!?


Allan: Have we met before?


[Back inside the main room]


Clinic Director: Ok then, I guess we couldn't be of help to them. So whose turn is it?


Tyrese: Mine, I guess. I'm Tyrese Gibson and I am a servant to Mr. Joey


All [that are left]: Hi Tyrese!


Joey: No one ever said you were my servant Tyrese. My gardener and my friend yes, but servant, no.


Tyrese: But that's what it feels like Mr. Joey! [assumes Joey's voice and proceeds to mimic him] 'Tyrese, I need water, Tyrese break me off a piece of Lembas, Tyrese carry me up Mt. Doom.' That's all I ever do is serve you!


[Robert grins]


Robert: [To himself] Yes precioussss, the fat one will be gone, gone, gone!


Joey: Oh, Tyrese! I'm sorry, I could never do anything without you. You're so brave...and Joey wouldn't have gotten very far without Tyrese!


Mark: Oh great, another line right from the script. You people are so below me I can't even sit in here anymore.


[Mark gets up and walks out without another word]


Keanu: Thank Thorin! I never thought he would leave...pesky elves...


Olrando/Buttercup/Hugo: [turn and glare at Kenau] HEY!


Matt: Well Leo, what do you say we go out and have ourselves a smoke?


Leonardo: Ok!


[As Leonardo gets up to leave, he walks past Garrett, knocking into the bottle of bleach which spills all over Danny]


Danny: Fool of a Took! It will take a 3-day soak in the Anduin to get rid of this stain!


[Danny leaves in a huff]


Garrett: Where are you going? Do not think this is over! You owe me a new bottle of bleach...its the only way I can change this stupid multi-colored cloak and become white again!


Leonardo: Did I do something wrong?


Matt: Yes, you always do something wrong Leo! C'mon, lets find Danny before he sends Martin Sheen after you!


[Matt and Leonadro exit]


George Clooney: Where Garrett goes, I must follow. Amber dear, are you coming?


Angie: Leave me alone, snake!


George Clooney: That hurts, that really hurts. Eh, you'll come around...[blows Angie a kiss and exits]


Clinic Director: Well, there was certainly a lot going on there.


Donnie: There is always something happening. I can't take it anymore!


Angie: You're way too whiny for me! Elfy, you can have him...I'm coming Jordan, my strong, Gondorian captain! [Angie leaves]


Buttercup: Finally! Are you ready to go and prove yourself to all of Middle-Earth and regain the throne of Gondor so we can be together in wedded bliss?


Donnie: [Staring at Buttercup, nervously] You've got this all planned out don't you?


Hugo: I forbid it!


Buttercup: I have made my choice! [She jumps up, grabs Donnie and drags him out of the room]


Hugo: [Gets up and starts walking out. We see him hitting the side of his head with his fist] Stupid Hugo, stupid Hugo. You have the gift of foresight...this could've been prevented! Stupid Hugo. [Exits]


Clinic Director: Well, Tyrese, Robert, Joey, Orlando, Keanu, at least you're still here.


Keanu: Actually, I have some Glittering Caves to explore, you coming elf?


Orlando: Caves...ew...dirt. I'll only go if you explore Lothlorien with me.


Keanu: Sure! The Lady of the Light was such a babe... [Exit Orlando and Kenau]


Joey: Well everyone, I know what I must do.


Tyrese: I'll go with you to the end Mr.Joey!


Joey: Ok...but itís just down the block..


[Tyrese looks confused]


Robert: No! Don't take The Ring to HIM!


Joey: But he's the best one in town!


[Robert looks confused]


Joey: He's the only jeweler I know who would resize this thing to fit a Hobbit's finger.


[Exit Joey followed by Tyrese and Robert]


Clinic Director: I think that was productive...
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mbu



Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 676
Location: England, London

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow butta! Smile wer did u com up wid dis, its a freakin master piece! Cool lol lord ov da rings.. brap! Wink ma fav bit has 2 b wen mark says 'Oh great, another line right from the script. You people are so below me I can't even sit in here anymore' lmfao!

keep it up buttercup, its too funny.. Very Happy
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Tellin da truth isnt alwais gd but lyin isnt alwais bad.. If tellin da truth makes som1 feel bad, lyin can b gd.. Gd things can com 4m lyin, bad things 4m da truth.. Altho sometimes tellin part of da truth is da same thing as tellin a lie..
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ButtercuplovesMark



Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2092
Location: Wahlberg Island

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mbu wrote:
wow butta! Smile wer did u com up wid dis, its a freakin master piece! Cool lol lord ov da rings.. brap! Wink ma fav bit has 2 b wen mark says 'Oh great, another line right from the script. You people are so below me I can't even sit in here anymore' lmfao!

keep it up buttercup, its too funny.. Very Happy




I gt it frm..........lord of the rings session. Just switch LOTR's chrcters 2 celebrities names..........took me a long tme...........lst nte..but it ws wrth it.......... Very Happy
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mbu



Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 676
Location: England, London

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahahahaa 2 me it was worth it so thanks butta lol it kinda cheered me up 2dai lol Very Happy
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Tellin da truth isnt alwais gd but lyin isnt alwais bad.. If tellin da truth makes som1 feel bad, lyin can b gd.. Gd things can com 4m lyin, bad things 4m da truth.. Altho sometimes tellin part of da truth is da same thing as tellin a lie..
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ButtercuplovesMark



Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2092
Location: Wahlberg Island

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

np............ Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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mbu



Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 676
Location: England, London

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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Tellin da truth isnt alwais gd but lyin isnt alwais bad.. If tellin da truth makes som1 feel bad, lyin can b gd.. Gd things can com 4m lyin, bad things 4m da truth.. Altho sometimes tellin part of da truth is da same thing as tellin a lie..
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*Sabrina*



Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 840
Location: the Netherlands

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

great piece Very Happy
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mrsmercer109



Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 3445

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oo oo add me plz!!
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mbu



Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 676
Location: England, London

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hus ur fav character in lord ov da rings Question
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Tellin da truth isnt alwais gd but lyin isnt alwais bad.. If tellin da truth makes som1 feel bad, lyin can b gd.. Gd things can com 4m lyin, bad things 4m da truth.. Altho sometimes tellin part of da truth is da same thing as tellin a lie..
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ButtercuplovesMark



Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2092
Location: Wahlberg Island

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i gt lt of fave chrctrs...........frm LOTR........Legolas, Frodo, Aragorn, Arwen, Sam, Merry, Eomer, & Gollum/Smeagol. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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mbu



Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 676
Location: England, London

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mines has 2 b Aragorn Smile
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Tellin da truth isnt alwais gd but lyin isnt alwais bad.. If tellin da truth makes som1 feel bad, lyin can b gd.. Gd things can com 4m lyin, bad things 4m da truth.. Altho sometimes tellin part of da truth is da same thing as tellin a lie..
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mrsmercer109



Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 3445

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i like Sam
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